He is lying in a bed in the intensive care unit, in an induced coma. He first had COVID-19 and then pneumonia and now blood poisoning. For days now, my childhood friend has been fighting for his life, one breath at a time, as I and his family and other friends fear for his life.
He may have avoided the artificial respiration and induced coma had he just gotten vaccinated, just gotten a shot. But he didn't, and I have no idea why.
We'll argue later
What I do know for sure, however, is that when I saw him in the ICU, I wasn't angry at unvaccinated people anymore. That anger has vanished. All I want now is for my friend to get better, to beat this.
I am watching the fight to save him from a distance, and it is terribly draining. There is no energy left for anger or aggression. All that remains are feelings of emptiness, exhaustion, despair and a slight glimmer of hope when his blood work shows improvements or antibiotics seem to be working. Worrying about a loved one eclipses all other thoughts.
To avoid any misunderstandings: I'm boosted and grateful and relieved to have the vaccination status I have. I am not only concerned about my own health but am also about the risk of overstraining our country's medical system.
Pandemic of emotions
This pandemic has pushed me to my limits. Of course, I would have told my friend to get vaccinated. He never talked about having reservations and to argue now would be pointless.
And, to be honest, I don't feel much like arguing anymore. The nonstop arguments between pro-vaxxers and anti-vaxxers, the debate over contact restrictions and lockdowns, and the absurd speculations about secret masterminds behind the pandemic have worn me out.
But it isn't all negative. In recent days, vaccine advocates have unleashed what the daily Tageszeitung has called "the uprising of those in line," referring to the millions of people who have lined up to get their shots.
Stigmatizing doesn't help
Vaccinations save lives — self-righteousness and bossiness don't. Again and again, this pandemic seems to want to break things down into friends and enemies, leaving behind a distorted notion of life that ultimately helps no one.
That's because not everyone who is unvaccinated is against vaccinations. And not everyone who wears a mask under their nose is by default anti-mask. And not everyone who goes to a party during the pandemic intends to be a superspreader.
Though it is hard not to think in these categories, I will try not to. I am happy with each new person getting vaccinated and, at the same time, want to keep the lines of communication open for people who are unvaccinated and neither stigmatize them nor allow them to be stigmatized.
When I think about my longtime friend in the ICU, I am reminded that I need to keep trying. Empathy is far more important than a particular ideology or conviction.
Wave of solidarity
Since the outbreak of the pandemic two years ago, there has been a wave of political radicalization here in Germany. But there has been an even bigger wave of solidarity.
I'm amazed at how strong social cohesion still is despite the enormous strain that has been placed on everything — especially ICUs.
For this, I am deeply grateful. Because, without this solidarity and empathy, there would be no hope in a pandemic that has so far claimed the lives of more than 5.4 million people worldwide.